Umineko Beading School has been keeping me busy lately. Only two more school days until thanksgiving break though, yay.

I've gotten back into beading lately. It probably helps that my new beads arrived, but still. I made something really super duper awesome and I might take a picture later if I feel like it. I should probably join a community or something, but I am pretty new at this so I don't know. sigh sigh. I really wish there were a bead place closer than an hour away though. I'd rather order in person than online if I could help it, I suspect it would be cheaper too.

Also I've fallen in love with pit bull-type dogs. I mean whenever I see pit mixes, they seem super cute. So I've been educating myself on that though I'm not really sure why. Even if I were going to get another dog I probably couldn't get it for at least four years. Another reason I can't wait for thanksgiving break. I'll get to see Smokey and Trubbel on Wednesday. and Lincoln seems to have bead shops too. My poor brother is going to have to drag me around. Oh well.

I'm trying to clean up my room today, it's quite a mess. I mean, it's a bunch of school stuff I don't need to keep, I guess I'm a pack-rat.

Still sick.  I'm slowly getting better though.

My computer isn't back yet, but I probably won't get it back until at least Friday.  The battery needs replacing at the very least.  So I've been working on my mom's old computer (dear god I'm sick of this thing already).

I've had trouble working on RC in its current state.  So I've been cleaning it up a bit and making it simpler and more narrative based.  I feel like I've let Toto down. It's my fault too.  It's my lackings as a writer that made me have to do this.  So sorry Toto. ;_;

Though in working on it anew, I've finally discovered the best writing organization system. It is called loose leaf paper and a binder.  It's amazing how well it works.  Now I don't have to jump around in notebooks for different stories.   Of course this is just for RC so far, but I did just start it yesterday.  For planning I can just replace that page!  It seems to work great for a single project too.  I can't find a computer equivilent yet (maybe that twiddly wiki or whatever?).  The only problem is, my handwriting sucks.  I mean, I can read it, but still.

The Annie wiki is growing, which is great!  Right now, it's the best source in English (sadly that's not saying much) for the endings.  But I bribed my brother into translating the ending requirements, so hopefully that will mean something soon.  I really do feel pretty good about creating something like this.  Yay self esteem!

Having computer issues, but I hope I can get it in tomorrow.

I've been sick all of last week.  For a while I've been waking up with a ton of blood coming out of my nose, it was annoying, but nothing that bad.  But lately it's happened several times a day, and so bad I cough up blood from up there (don't worry, it's not cholera) and getting really dizzy as a result.  It's horrible, as I actually wanted to go to school, but Mom understandably didn't want me to go if I was all light-headed all the time and exerting myself nearly made me faint (Yeah the last showing of the play, I was so bad I had to have someone carry me to their car and drive me home bless their hearts).   Annie took away some of the pain though.  Beat it once, started a new playthrough.  It is awesome and everyone ever should get it (considering it's like 30 bucks instead of the usual 40 for a DS game all the more reason.)

My obsession stretched so far that I started a wiki.  http://atelier-annie.wikidot.com/  . I did make it so you have to join to post, but that's about it.  Please do! [/whoring]

Halloween was rather boring.  No one came. I  mean yeah, I live on the second floor of an apartment, but I still kinda thought some neighbor kids would.  I was really disappointed.  I really miss halloween.  When I have a place of my own with a yard I'm gonna carve a million pumpkins to make up for the lost time!

atelier-annie.wikidot.com/
Also my mom was really depressed . When I mentioned this to my brother, he was surprised I didn't know why.   How was I supposed to know it was the anniversary of Michael's burial?  I mean I was three.  I have like two memories of him, neither of which was the burial (I remember what I think was the wake but yeah no burial).  and it's not like anyone told me.  When I asked my mom what was wrong, she just said she was having a down day.  How was I supposed to know?

But whatever.  I really want to be better.  I hope I'm well enough tomorrow to go.  I'm kinda sick of bleeding out of this orifice. I mean I don't get cramps but my nose is kinda achy... but yes.  Sorry for the TM 

Opening night is in a little over 2 hours.

A few days ago, Mr. G watched us and gave comments.  He apparently thinks I'm one of the best, well at least behind mercutio.  Yay!  I guess I'm good at being a paranoid drug dealer =D

I think we've learned something this fall play.  From. Now. On. Cast. Understudies.   yes, our school didn't.  And many have been hit with illness.  Actually no swine flu, but bad throats.  We've been worried about E, our juliet. She's a great actress, but her voice has been dead lately (even better, she apparently got it from G, our romeo last week. )  I mean the theory of using our student director as a possible replacement was thrown around, but it's not like she would know the lines either.   We definitely can't reschedule, as part of our set is this small Italian Village backdrop that we rented.  We need to fedex it monday or.... huge fee.

Fortunately, E's voice has improved a good amount.  It's not back to normal, but it's far better than it has been.  I don't know E the best, but from rehearsal I can tell, she'd show up and try her best. (as when her voice problem became appearent, she had to continually be reminded to whisper her lines during rehearsal) Her effort is admirable. We usually don't mic people, but for her, we will.  I'm just so relieved.  E's an excellent actress, and I'd feel so bad for her if she couldn't do this.


School was awesome today.  In creative writing, we were supposed to peer review our movie reviews, but we spent the whole time talking about the play (we do have to review it as a later assignment) I  assured people that if something sounds dirty, it is (we have CROTCH THRUSTS.  and a crotch grab.  I'm not kidding).  And then we got on the subject of big swords and the like.    Then in Great Ideas we had a gripe day.  I didn't even realize I had this many things to gripe about.

Hmhm preordered Atelier Annie today.

My goal for this month other than writing is to finish applying places.

Even if I don't finish applying places this week (The play's this week so I'm super duper busy), I'd be happy to just get my ACT scores sent in.  (Oh god, I got my letter of acceptance from USD before I got a notice they got my test scores XD)

I'm looking at places in Minnesota to get as far away from home as possible because of state deals I can get instate there too yay. 

It's been like 4-6 years since my mom's been through this whole song and dance and she had forgotten that all colleges like have an application fee.  

So currently...

Minnesota State Mankato- $20, still have not sent them my ACT scores.
St. Cloud- $20, haven't sent ACT scores.
Southwest State Minnesota still haven't decided I dunno- $20, haven't sent ACT scores.
Mount Marty (mom's preference) - $35 (it should not surprise my mom that private colleges also like money)  sent my ACT scores.

My mom wants me to hold off on applying to more than one minnesota school, so I guess I'll apply to mankato first and if I can convince my mother, I'll apply to st. cloud.

I can't really think of any other places to apply, but I think that's enough.

Been busy with school stuff as first quarter ends this friday.  At least now in spanish I can say "The prostitute lives on the street corner".  Today we rendezvoused with my brother.  He lives 4 hours away, so we meet in a town 2 hours away so there's less driving for all of us.  I got to be presently surprised.  He brought along my baby smokey who I hadn't seen since august!  I was so happy to see his happy face and waggy body and fogging up of a back seat window.  We spent much time together, and I got to feed him by hand again.   I learned much from his eternal optimism again. So yes, my big black mutt withdrawal has been solved.  

 

I did some beading today.  I made this bracelet I plan to give away- but damn it looks nice. I had to admire my own handiwork for once, everything went great.  I do owe it to my mom though for helping me with the color scheme.  She really does have an eye for that it seems.

My back sure does hurt, I want to assume it's from the beading but it's been bothering me a while.   I hope there's nothing to wrong with it. Fie fie fie.   

I should get to bed, but first- have some several year old close up  picture of the BBM
 
 

I've just been so busy sob.

Toto unless my family contributes to college app money I'm gonna say November now.  sorry sorry my favorite lady of the Philippines.  I forgot I have to pay for my props for the play too >_>;;;

The college visit was nice.  I did get lost though, because of my great navigational skills I kept leading us in the opposite direction.  We did the app there since that meant I didn't have to pay.   In yesterday's mail, my acceptance letter arrived.  I'm happy I got in at all, but not as happy as I thought I would be.  Aren't I supposed to be all "EHMAGAWD THIS  IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!1" ?  I'm still applying a few more places, but yeah.

And then there was a writing camp later that week. I was the only one from my school who went which made me a bit shy and lonely but I did have a really great time.  We did microfiction and theatre.  So yes my total wordcount was maybe 200-250.  Kinda sad but it WAS microfiction, and it was really fun.


Maybe I'll try making my word count into a contest again this month.  I should be able to improve (if only for the fact I'm in creative writing) but who knows.   I guess I should count my creative writing homework before I hand it in.  I suspect I won't get it back for a while.

In Romeo and Juliet, I am now allowed to play the Act 5 apothecary as a drug dealer.   It is as fun as it sounds.  I even get an awesome hood (the only done part of my costume currently.  But it's so fun to play with. )  

My copies of The Art of Fiction and The Elements of Style arrived recently.  I love them already.

I am behind in everything ever and need to find more time for non class writing.  It would probably also help if I blocked Tv Tropes in my HOSTS file. 

Toto, if you happen to see this, I kinda need to hold off on shipping until I got my college apps out (I'm at least assuming I have to pay for them. ) I'll hopefully ship it out sometime this October, but yeah.

Yes I'm going to USD tomorrow morning (we have the day off for a teacher inservice) for a college visit.  I'm actually rather excited.  Still not 100%  on what to ask, but my brother gave me some good ideas.  I have to go to USD again on Saturday for sorcerer's apprentice (unless they reject me for some reason), so I'd best remember how to get there.

I went out on a walk today.  I actually decided to practice writing while I was out.  More specifically, descriptions as I suck at them.  I think this helped a lot, and it gave me a few new ideas for stories.   Maybe I should try writing outside my room more often.  

After much swearing I got past the belial fight in devil survivor.  I don't want to fight any more bel demons, sob.

I want to do more writing, but I've been busy.  And lazy.  I just need to slap myself out of it.

Eh, I still feel somewhat lonely, and I seem to be talking to people less lately (or if I do talk, it's unnoticed. ) . It sucks, but what can I do, I mean, I've done my part, I'm trying, this is a two way effort, and it's clear some people don't care.  Life goes on.

 

Life has made me too busy/too mentally dead to do as much writing as I'd like.  (And I joined oral interpretation too this year goodbye free time)  I still haven't even reread draft 1 yet  (not like I don't have other things to do like FINISH first drafts of other things...).   I guess I could do it at school, but ehhh people like reading over my shoulder, and I'd rather not explain OH I'M WRITING A FANFIC (also the fact I just don't like people looking at my first drafts period.   It ruins my motivation for it.)  I like being only half as much of a nerd at school as I really am.  

Swine flu is officially in town.  No my school's not cool enough to close like Patsy's.  Lucky girl.   Yes Senior year is great but still.  The paranoia is dumb.   I saw people actually using hand sanitizer during class for no reason other than being reminded H1N1 is town.  Someone went home sick yesterday because they weren't feeling that great, but more importantly, it could be the dreaded swine flu, RUN PANIC!  I mean, I took a look at swine flu, and if I'm not misunderstanding, it is a cruddy flu, but about the only catch is it's maybe more contagious I dunno. I mean yeah, people have died, because it's the flu.  It was old people and infants, the type that die from the flu all the time.   The media is making a big stink about it, and it annoys me.   Because of them, when I was younger, I thought I was going to die from west nile, but mostly SARS.  (spoiler:  I did not die from SARS).

I already know I'm going to get swine flu sometime, there's no point in fighting it.  I'd rather get it now instead of when it comes back later this year with a vengeance.  I feel kinda sick today, but I'm quite doubtful it's swine flu.  I'm not quite miserable enough. 

In other news, with Persona 3 Portable announced, I feel like a big whore for wanting it. (Though I honestly did want Persona 2 more.  I'm just pretending in my mind they're using this as a cash grab to pad the extensive budget for P2P).  I wasn't even that interested in playing it until it was announced, but that's more the whole "I can control my party and swear at the tv less?"  I mean, I don't NEED direct control, but I used it in P4 because I was so traumatized from P3. I  used commands, but my party hated me.  For example, what made me take Yukari out of my party forever in the answer-

Everyone:  *dying*
Yukari:  *full sp* *no status effects* *set to "heal"*  GEEZE THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO!  *picks "wait"*
Shadows:  *slaughter Aigis and friends*

Yeah, I just used Ken after that.  Though in P3 as a whole, I never had a problem with "Marin Fucking Karin" actually.  Mitsuru used it like 3 times in my file surprisingly.
My final boss party, Aigis, Mitsuru, and Ken wasn't too bad until Moonlight Curtain was up.  I had everyone set to heal, but Ken and Mitsuru felt like attacking instead.  I had to set them to "Do nothing", which while annoying, it wasn't like they got me killed.

I won't lie though-  I'm totally in this for the Minako scenario assuming Atlus doesn't screw it up.   Still, would have preferred P2, but I'll live.  I'm a big whore, the first step is admitting it.

In creative writing, we started our poetry unit.   Not one of my strong suits, but hopefully this will improve my fiction.  Our first poetry assignment was to write a poem using the 3 things of figurative language we drew, a minimum of 12 lines.   I drew "analogy", "litote". and "synesthia", the last two spellchecks all over refuse to recognize.   Needless to say, it didn't come out that well.   Looking at it again, it isn't as bad as I first thought (though I went to a new line at seemingly random points).  Of course the two biggest things that bother me, lines aside, is the lack of a good rhythm, and how I use the word "attention" like three times (It's about a stray kitty.)  At least noticing those things will help me with fiction (good writing does at least have a bit of a rhythm I've learned.)   We hand in homework at the end of a unit (roughly every 3 weeks), and get extra points for handing in multiple drafts of a piece.  Though it's obviously a good thing to do (at least for my writing)  I'm kind of doubtful I'll rewrite this one (well if I did I'd throw out the figurative language that didn't work well, which would no longer make it the assignment) but I may if I see improvement during this unit. 

I started Xenogears recently.   Though it's fun giggling at lip movements not matching the dialogue, it's quite good in all seriousness.   It almost makes me wish I was years older so I could have played this and understood it a while ago.   I need to get back to little king's story though.  My mom misses the music from the game.  It's like the only game music she likes, she misses "the patriotic music".  Never came off as patriotic to me.  I mean, I suppose it is, but in what sense does she mean?  This is a game about conquering the world and also polygamy.  I am letting people die for me while I conquer the world.  It's a monarchy to boot. I was never elected.  Oh well.

It seems my beagle has fleas.  I feel bad for the poor little guy.  (I want to say it's his own fault for being a little jerk who keeps trying to escape on adventures, but even he doesn't deserve that).  He's obviously not a happy camper, but at least my brother has taken some of my advice on dealing with it.

I need a job, and money.  I need me some layton. and persona psp. etc etc etc.

I would love to say I wasted my weekend, but that is totally not my fault.   I got yet another sinus infection (I get these tons of times a year so I can pretty well self diagnose them at this point) so I went to the doctor friday for meds.  (play rehearsal starts tomorrow.  Don't know what part [if any I suppose, but he probably would have given me a minor instead of dropping me ] I got, but either way  I need to not sound super congested and stupid. ) so saturday was mostly spent sleeping and complaining.   Though at night I did start writing a short story I should get back to.

Today I finished the first draft of chapter 3 of WMVRH.  I'll rewrite it when I feel like it.
Of course that time probably should have been spent on homework.  Like the creative writing story due tomorrow.  I had it done but I rewrote it from a different perspective.   Or working on spanish.
Or working on that project for my lit class, since I figured out a way to be allowed to perform a literary analysis on Mother 3 . =D  Then again that one may just be easier to do at school.
Or uh... study for ap bio?   Then again I feel like I just have to be awake in that class to do well.

Oh well.

Things I need to do writing wise-
Write short story for lit magazine
Finish short story I started yesterday
finish 3rd draft of one short story
finish 1st draft of contest entry.  SERIOUSLY ME.
work on RC since it's been a while.

I had an appointment at noon.  I left the house a little before 11:30 so I could let the car cool off.  After thoughtlessly jamming the new tape adapter I got in, I learn something.
The face plate for the radio is gone.  It's not near the radio, so it must have been stolen.

Yes, my car was broken into.  And by broken into, I mean they opened the door.   I usually lock it, I just forgot.  My own fault.  
I call my mom down so she knows, and while she sees this, I make another discovery.   The box we had the old disc drive (for my mom's pc) in was gone. Let me reiterate.  They took a broken cd drive.   It didn't work at all.    They didn't take anything that would have been a pain, like our insurance information or anything. 

stolen items-
radio facepate.
very broken cd drive

Value-  MAYBE 15 bucks if they sell it as materials.  In other words- FAIL.

I mean seriously.  I'm not even mad.  I find this hilarious.  I mean,  we had left the drive in there, as I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know how to properly dispose of it, but they took that problem off my hands.  I mean, it's my own fault for not locking it and leaving garbage in view.  Then again, if they actually thought the drive was valuable, they probably would have broken a window anyway. About the only thing I'm mildly annoyed about is learning that the car has no manual way to eject tapes.  It HAD the button,  but unlike say a computer disc drive, there is no emergency eject button.  I'll get it out somehow though.  

Some advice to the thief for future reference:

Properly assess value.  Wow, you stole from a piece of junk car.  Why would someone leave a CD drive in there, I mean really. There had to be a catch.  You're just lucky it wasn't full of rocks and nails. I may do that next time for giggles. I mean, I know there was nothing that valuable in there, but seriously, things you could have taken:

• Those pencils.  Those are at least practical.
• That phonebook and copy of vogue from ~2004.  you could have used that for a collage!
• Those paperbacks.  My mom loves her books, and if you glue-sticked the cover back on that one, you could have resold those on like amazon and gotten ten bucks there.
• that collapsable umbrella.  Three bucks there, and very practical for when you steal in the rain
• I had a couple nickels in there.

Though you do get points for leaving everything in a mess the way it was- wait, if I had looked in the back seat I could have easily noticed you had gone inside.   Things may have been disorganized in there, but it's not like I didn't have a system.  So I guess,
2.  Try to make it look like you hadn't robbed me.  At least, that's what I would do.  I mean, honestly, if you hadn't stolen the face plate I seriously would not have noticed at all.

I know stealing from an unlocked car is difficult, but with practice you can become good!

I got what I feel is a ton of writing (spoiler: not really. )

I worked on the second draft of a short story (first draft I wrote 2 days ago. Wanted some time apart before I looked at it again.)  It's way different than the first draft (the perspective of a different character for starters) and also (obviously) way better. Though perhaps when I look at it tomorrow I'll change that to: "OH GOD IT STILL SUCKS" 


I finished the redo of chapter one of  When my Voice Reaches him (finally) and rewrote chapter two (Yes I am using an appropriate icon).  Already put them on ff.net (No link to chapter 2.  You people should reread chapter 1 first:  www.fanfiction.net/s/5052596/1/When_My_Voice_Reaches_Him

I feel like I'll probably work on RC some more, though I suspect it will be rewriting for the most part.  BUT WHO KNOWS.

I was going to write this sooner, I just didn't get around to it.  The results of my July month of writing-  ~10000+ words*.  Obviously no where close to 50K, but I wasn't really expecting to reach that either.   It would have been nice to reach say, 30K, but at the same time,  I don't think this is too bad for a first time.  I may attempt this again in a few months if school isn't too demanding.    

Overall though, I would like to try writing more short stories in general.   Problem is, I sometimes feel weird/scared about writing at times, like I have this decent idea but I'm destined to screw it up.  However, I've found a great quote by Hemingway, that I wish I had learned years ago:  "The first draft of anything is shit.".  Learning those words is actually what inspired me to work on that Writers of the Future entry (I'm not done with it yet.  It actually started going in a different direction and I've been pondering that.)  without fear, but unfortunately I can' t always get it to work.  

I need to get over the fear if I want to do anything with writing.  Though many say liberal arts degrees can do little for you, I often hear from creative writing majors "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FREELANCE.  THAT'S THE KEY" and from other people to network in general.  Maybe I will try writing a submission for a magazine.  I just need to get my idea to fully form.

So yeah, here's to hoping.

 

 

* The Writers of the future entry mostly contributed to that.  However, it's in a notebook as I was working on it during traveling and such. As a result I'm too darn lazy to count the words and I'm guessing based on page count.

Writer's block is still being blocky.  Yet, I had an idea.  I've always kind of wanted to do NaNoWriMo, but I've never felt that I could do it during a school month.  

So my brain processed something stupid along the lines of trying to do it in July, except instead of a novel trying to get 50,000+ words period.  That Writers of the Future thing, fics, short stories, scripts, pretty much anything beyond blog/forum posts, IM (oh god I could probably make that easy in a week...) and planning.  It's a fun enough goal to try. I probably won't make it to 50,000 words, but even making it to 30,000 is an accomplishment in a way.  Heck, maybe it would give me the confidence to try NaNoWriMo (confidence? me?  pffffft.)

I should be ashamed after all.   If I daydream about being a writer, should I really be this lazy?  I mean, that thing they say about "write everyday", that's heard from everyone ever?  Yeah.  I've always failed at that.  I don't know if I could do that during block periods, but darnit I don't even try it when I'm unblocked!  And lots of people write through the block so.....

Really this means I probably won't be working on websites or anything in July, but I probably wouldn't have anyway >_>;;


So let's see....

• Writers of the Future Scholarship Entry
• When my Voice Reaches Him 
• SCRIPTS
• Short stories
• Coherent stuff formed from writing excersices

I think that about covers it.  It's not like I write poetry or anything.  

 

For the writers of the future thing, I have an idea, but I haven't planned anything out.  I need to find some more music that has a fantasy feel to it (it's always something with me isn't it?). Shikata does pretty well, but I have like 3 albums of hers aside from her AT stuff, so I wonder how sick of her I'll get.


I normally don't like making my ambitious plans known, just in case they fall through and I make a fool of myself, yet I feel if I don't make this public, I probably won't do it period.  So feel free to join me, mock me, or whatever!
 

I've been in a writing funk lately.  Since I've been at my brother's house instead of  home, I was hoping I could get lots of writing done. Unfortunately, possibly due to my worst enemies- PS2 and DS, that hasn't happened.  Or maybe it was the fact I felt like I lost touch with my characters.  I don't know how other people write, but for me, perhaps it's because I like acting (though I haven't auditioned for anything lately.  Your prospects suck when you can't sing.), or perhaps that I've always had fun with make believe (I guess I'm still a child), so I have to act out the scenes in my head.  Yet lately, (perhaps I'm just a poor actress), I feel out of touch with the characters and can't get in their heads. 

Except a couple days ago, I was finally able to get in touch with one character, M.  Which is good, I wanted to work on RC again.  Unfortunately, It would be nice if it was something closer to where I left off, but every bit helps I suppose.  I'm glad I'm making progress at least in that department, though I wish I'd get out of this funk completely.

Also- I'm really excited about Umineko no Naku Koro ni.   It's amazing that the whole reason I felt hype about it (especially since I forgot about it for a bit) was learning Akiko Shikata is doing the opening, which is no surprise, but still.  I haven't been all that excited over anime in a long time.

Ugh.  Perhaps this is a new kind of writer's block I'm encountering.   I haven't wanted to write anything because I've been sleeping poorly, though that's more of an excuse than anything.  More frustratingly, when I decide to work on something and start plotting that portion out in my head, I lose interest and want to work on something else.   It appears to be a cycle. Blah.   I'll get past it somehow.

My keyboard seems to be cursed.  Several keys fell off and refuse to go on right/ stay on.  Thus tomorrow I'm taking it in with my mom's computer.  Hopefully, it won't take long to get back,  but either way I'm sure I'll go into withdrawal.  So I'm going to check out as many books as possible. I mean, I haven't read any new books in like, months.  Gotta fix that.  Definitely gotta read stuff by Lowry.  And I'm tempted to reread To Kill a Mockingbird, but I fear I shall go though it too fast.

And games.  Maybe it's time to replay Earthbound.  I don't know.  And definitely need to play Harvest Moon.  Any other ideas as to how to spend my time?

Seriously.  
not quite as braindead this time.

So in 6th period, our teacher has been having us move crap since there's nothing better to do.  I was fine with that.  We were moving tables to the second floor with this cart thingy.  Unfortunately, the person who had accompanied me ran over my foot.  I'm amazed that I didn't scream the F-word like I wanted to. Or cried.  But I did give him crap as I headed for the nurse.  She said I'd have a serious bruise tomorrow, and I got an ice pack.  Apparently  my grammar teacher has some wound phobia as she winced when I came into the room with an icepack.  She also kept asking me if I wanted to go home.  I declined.   It really does hurt though. >_>;;;